wow

wish i could score endorsements and sponsorships as easily as those girls who blog too publicly. ironically i really do not wish to be one of them.

11 people i love and adore, in random order

1. that really old seamstress from my neighbourhood. cos she does such an amazing job altering my clothes for me everytime, and shes so nice and sweet and charges me so little.

2. my hair stylist peter. for knowing my hair better than i do and always making me look like sex.

3. my ex-manicurist jenny. wish i knew where she is now.

4. both my grandmothers but the maternal one more. mahahaha. cos she's the sweetest person in the world who cares for so many people and wouldn't speak the ills of any, but would also scream at me if i ever decide to buy her bottled, processed birds' nest instead of raw expensive ones. aahahahaha

5. my mummy. whos also my best support, my sister, my confidante and my best friend. for takin' 21 years of my rubbish and who would never stop reminding me that i am, in her eyes the most beautiful girl in the world.

6. my brother. who brings out the jolly child from my facade of a maiden and who influences me with little boy things like captain bluebear novels and lovin' wimpykid.. etc. all of which whilst banishing my overt girlyness in tiny portions over our years of growing up together. and who also is the only person in the world who would laugh with me at many things people wouldn't even cough a chuckle for. doesn't matter if it's because we both share a very meaningless sense of humour.

7. zee. whom really i think is the only person in my life who understands and who knows me better than anyone else in the world does. so magic and strange but truly tis' be the man who is my soul-friend.

8. my other half juannie. who thinks he all that smartness and fabulosity but really i am the smarter one. whahahaha. also and most simply for loving me with so much tenderness and honesty. telling me he thinks im fat but buying me ice-cream or allowing me cookies whenever i crave for one. bringing out the best in me with his love and returning to me my lost confidence, helping me see myself in another light with my hair undone and my nails unpainted; that even when bare-faced, unstyled and fresh out of the shower am i still deserving of such a love from this amazing, wonderful man. did i also forget to mention that he is incredibly sexy. kkekekekeke

9. kyer. whos cynism bound,completely pessimistic and downright full of rubbish but also is one of my best life partners stayin' with me thru our times, lol. i love her forever.

10. the best friend alex ong feifei. whom i hope would shed his pounds and get skinny soon
so tht he cld return to his hottie days. and cos hes the most modest, earnest, hardworking i know. who likes to correct me on unnecessary, unimportant things that don't require correction.
oh and also just made me laugh for the 287829472984729047902782th time. nuff'said.

11. alika jiejie. or her cosmetical prowess and for transforming the faces of so many girls and helping them feel good about themselves, including mine.

singapore:
where the sun shines and where nobody really smiles.

plea

sweet heavens,

i am so tired of studying for my degree and working too hard for my money.
so please, won't you grant me my good fortune so that i could live the life i love and never have to work again. Ever.

Thank you.
T

wished i wasn't hating on the world tonight

stationary dimensions

i'm going to bangkok for a 5 day holiday with wj tomorrow.
i hope when i come back that i don't ever have to see my dad again.

also, i cannot help but find the endless fued between blackberry and iphone users immensely annoying. being completely incapable of expressing any feelings of benevolence at this moment, i can only wish the next person who publicly declares the majesty of her mobile to mine dead.

Nothing against your blackberry, fuckhead.

_l_

subway lullaby

one evening from about three weeks ago,
i was tired, lonely, decked in grey and on a train. gloomed by daylight and paled by overwhelming vexation from thoughts of "if i'd make it in time for work today."

i never do.

sitting beside me was a newspaper reading old man who dressed like urban broadway and whom existence i wouldn't think i'd ever care about.

while i was getting up to leave and still on my music player, he turned to me and said "I hope you have a good day". the tone of his voice so full of heart they clapped like happy cannons through my earphones which before so, were playing in my ears music that was so deafeningly sad they could raise a dead.

i smiled.

Ian:
Hey!
How are you?
It's been too long!
Hows it goin?
What have you been up to?

Person X:
Sup

something

i have had absolutely zero incitements to work my blog on.

this is terrible.

i am believing that causes includes my current being in an unlawfully blissful marriage or rather remaining constantly shocked at how much of myself it takes to being a half-heartedly employed workhorse.

i have been feeling so occupied yet deranged that in the past months besides combating acne and thinking of the world as a bitch there have been almost positively nothing i found worth writing about.

right this moment i have a thought and it is so mentally consuming i declare myself paralysed.

clearly if i were to start getting any less boring than this the universe is going to start hating me.